October 29, 2009

Deep Thoughts

I've been thinking.
And thinking. 
That post I wrote yesterday...it's no secret I've struggled with my weight since, well, all my life!  Yes, I've been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't:
"You're not?  Because you're carrying low."  (I chalked this one up to the woman being weird!)
 (Special note:  NEVER ask a female if she is pregnant!  Never!  Not even if her belly is an obvious 9 months out there.  Don't do it.) 
If someone is overweight, chances are, they already know. 
I sure do. 
It's when people point it out to you that you feel that's what they see.  Not the real you, your personality, your kindness, your sense of humor.  They're looking at your biggest failure...you're body. 
I don't like to fail. 
There are so many things I want to be good at. 
Taking optimum care of myself hasn't been one of them.  I know I need to change that. 
It's a struggle, a kind of tug-a-war, when you're a Mother.  I have several human beings to take care of, feed, nurture, and support in different ways.  I tend to put myself on hold or at the bottom of the list, just out of utter forgetfulness.  I don't mean to.  It just happens. 

But now, I'm going to make a concentrated effort to change that.  My kids love me, I need to too.
And this is not all because of what "Ryan" said.  (Seriously, I can be fiesty.  He's not getting a pat on the back for this one.) 
It's just a culmination of MANY things finally hitting my brain like lightning...an epiphany so to speak.  (Sometimes that can happen.  Like when you get on your bike after several months of not riding it, tears streaming down your face, wondering if people are reminded of the Queen song, Fat Bottomed Girls, when they drive past you.  Yeah, those times.)  
We'll just take this lemon and make some, ummm, lemon bars!  Something bad can always be made into something GREAT!


Kimberly said...

You go girl!! Stay happy, it shines in your eyes!!

I love the new lay-out. It is just what I envision your house looking like. Sooo cute.
xxx kim

Anna M said...

Although I am pregnant, one lady at Costco thought I was about to deliver right there and then because I "was carrying so low". And that was almost three months ago. I was like 5 months along.



David said...

Angela you are soooo beautiful and its not because you wrote this post. When I met you I couldnt stop thinking about how beautiful your aura was. I HEART YOU

Aileen Bohn

shell said...

You and I must live in the same world. J and I were just talking about how beautiful you are. Those are his words. I think there's not a thing that you could change that would make you any more wonderful - beautiful - terriffic.

anonymous said...

I just read your post and must tell you that you have ALWAYS been absolutely beautiful--inside and out! You were beautiful freshman year, and you are beautiful now! I can't tell you how many girls I know obsessed with their appearance that spend WAY too much time away from their children to please their vanity. You are a beautiful gift to your children and so clearly an amazing mom! Do what you need to do to be healthy and strong and happy, but please know what an amazing example of goodness you are to all those around you!!
Your Freshman Roomie

Shelly Beson said...

I said I was sorry for asking you if you were pregnant!! That was many years ago and it's time to let me off the hook:) You can do it Ang. And I love the new header!

domestic bliss said...

I totally totally get this girlfriend! People don't understand this struggle unless they have been there. The hardest thing about weight is that it is such an obvious struggle. Others can have their own private battles- but ours is out there for the world to critique. You KNOW that I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND this!!!! You are the best- You can do it- I am here to support you anytime!


stacey said...

Ange, you are gorgeous and dont believe any differently! I think its a good idea to focus on being healthy, not what your tag size says. Just dont forget to enjoy something yummy and not so healthy once in a while,its okay. See you at Golden Spoon!!!!! stace

Morgen said...

I am always being asked if I am pregnant. I think it is because I keep having kids. Oh, and I am fat in the tummy. That's probably what it is in your case. I see other overweight people who are never asked if they are pregnant and I think it is because their "baby" is fourteen!! Our babies are 2.

Lisa said...

Angela...YOU ROCK! That's all there is to say!